I personally feel and of the view that being 'perfect' does not necessarily mean that we all must be physically beautiful and perfect in everything we do, but more so of having beautiful hearts with features and attitudes that 'sedap di pandang mata' which makes our better halves always 'crave' to be with us and 'want' us to be in their company. In other words, they enjoyed the company of their wives whom they termed 'boleh di bawa ketepi dan ketengah majlis!' Or the joy of being together every where they go and in every situation they are - always wanting us! Simply put, we must be the source of joy to our better halves. And, isn't that the main reason they chose and married us in the first place?
Anyway, coming back to the session which I had with Sista Jah, there are few things which I also believed need to be jotted down and shared with other sisters who weren't there with some 'selfie' explanations and my own understandings and experiences. For example, she quoted Umamah Al Harith who adviced all her daughters upon their solemnization to their husbands. First and foremost, to always smell good and nice. Trust me, this advice without doubt is the most pertinent. Who would want to be near us when we have terrible BO. Not even our friends, what more our husbands! If these happen, the wives will suffer in silence where being their lawful wives, yet their husbands did not want to come to bed with them :( Then, the question arise : what's the point of marrying when the husband treats his wife like strangers? So, personal hygiene is the first rule of the thumb.
Secondly, to prepare his food on time. Here, I opined that it does not necessarily mean that we have to cook foodies all the times and smell kitchen! Once in a while yes, since the saying to capture our husband's love is via his stomach still matters; but not to treat it as burdens. Also, if we have helpers to cook for us and what nought, it is best and strongly recommended if we are the ones who serves him the foodies with full of love, joy and smiles. We should accompany him while he savours the food although we are not eating (full) and not just to leave him alone while in actual fact he is a married man and not a bachelor! What he needs is our love and attention. Isn't that simple? But the rewards would be vast and everlasting.
The third advice was to keep quiet when he sleeps. As everyone knows that sleep is the best rest ever to our body. The norm is that after having good foodies and a very good sleep we will feel fresh and our body rejuvenate again. If one did not get a good sleep he or she will be restless, moody, everything seems wrong and God knows what! So, good sleep is very important to our better half after their hard days at work. Thus, it goes without saying once he had a very good sleep, whatever the wife's wish will become his command! :D Not surprise if one day, there'll be breakfast on bed for us. LOL but true!
The fourth advice was never disclosed his secrets! As his wife and someone whom he trusts, we are our husbands' partners for life - both here and hereafter! So, never once disclosed his 'aib' to others who has no business whatsoever in his affairs. Whatever his secrets are to be guarded with our mouths well zipped or better still sealed with concrete that no one could even smell it! That's our sacred duty and responsiblilty to our better halves and vice versa. His secrets are our secrets and we are always considered as 'one' person > husband+wife!!
Last but never the least was to honour, respect and agree with him. Indeed, our husbands are someone we have to respect and honour. There were many stories that Sista Jah shared with us about honouring him and to follow our husbands' wishes at all cost as long as not to disobey our Creator Allah SWT. For example, there was once a wife during our Prophet Mohamad SAW time whose husband was out on a journey. Before he left her he said, "Never leave the house till I come home." During his absence, her father fell sick and her father's servant went to her house to inform her about it. Yet, she did not leave the house since she honoured her husband's instruction. A few days after that her father's servant went to see her again and informed that her father had passed away. Still with sadness and heavy heart, she did not leave the house and waited for the husband to come home. On this, Prophet Mohamad SWA relayed to her that due to her obedience to her husband, Allah SWT took away all her father's sins and sent him to Jannah. Wow! That was truly an awesome story to emulate.
As to agree with what our husband's view, there is a saying that we can 'agree to disagree' in order to maintain a civil dialogue! Although at times we may have different views over certain things from our better halves, it does not mean that we are losing the battle if we just agree with him. There are ways to win an argument without showing that we disagree! And most of the time, they are happier to accept the victory and our agreement due to their ego. If we made them happy, their morale high and good moods follow them. Therefore, it is always safe to set aside our 'irreconcilable differences' with our better halves with full knowledge that it does not mean defeat. In long run, we are the winner and winning the race :D
In conclusion, with simpler notes if we can make things easy then why try to make it difficult. If we can laugh, then why should we cry and make ourselves miserable. If we can make our husband happy by doing simple things which he likes and appreciates then why want to try something new and difficult which we are not sure of the result! Even if we yearn to take risk, it is advisable to take 'calculated risk!' In short, just make him smile and he will smile back to you; just make him happy and surely happiness will all be yours!
Big TQ to Sista Jah who was sharing her knowledge with us on the topic 'Be a Perfect Wife! Even if He is an Imperfect Husband.'
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