Art of Saying Thank You!

I have not posted or updated my blog for sometime. Perhaps three months or so since the last posting. Actually, I had scribbled some words here and there, yet I wasn't sure to share or not to share, hence they remained as drafts! Also, I was thinking of what suitable material to post and share '(•^•)'

Until today, when I was invited to give a talk and share parts of Malay Culture to ISC Ladies Wing in Muscat. And, I chose to share the Art of Saying Thank You - the MusWay!

As a DS abroad, I always feel it is my duty to share with others and international colleagues who wish to know more about Malaysia and its diversified traditional cultures based on its multi ethnic groups. So, I began my talk with a very simple introduction of where Malaysia is located and its multi racial population that live peacefully and harmony despite its different race, different religion and different skin colour.

Then, I narrowed down the scope to just the culture of the Malay Community which form the majority or half of the Malaysian population. It centered on MalayWeddings  and 'Majlis Cukur Jambul & Berendoi' for newborns. I touched on the processes of the common Malay weddings from Merisik to Bertunang and followed by Majlis Akad Nikah, Majlis Berinai, and the Majlis Bersanding Ceremony. I also took with me some samples of Bunga Rampai and Bunga Telor and distributed to the audience as well as demonstrating the talk with the assistance of pictorial slides for easy visualization and understanding of the subject matter which I wished to share with them.

I shared with my audience the art of Merisik where poetry words or Bahasa Kiasan were normally used instead of direct asking for the Bride's hand! For example, the representives from the groom's side would start with a phrase such as "We come from afar. Another district and another town. And, in here we saw there is a beautiful blooming flower in your garden! If it is not being booked or taken, we would like to seek for permission from the rightful owner to pluck it on behalf of a waiting gentleman (the to-be groom)."

Then, the representative of the bride-to-be will answer such as "We have many blooming flowers in this garden. There is a red rosé, a jasmine and even a budding water lily. Which of these flowers your gentleman is interested in?" This question may then be answered with a sentence like "Oh! Our young gentleman prefers the young budding water lily." These phrases of poetic questions and answers will go on and on until both sides settled to an agreement. 

Indeed, this new knowledge of poetic like 'merisik' event was something new to my audience staying in Muscat, and I truly felt good sharing with them. In actual fact, I learnt this art of 'merisik' indirectly from my late Nyai who was once a 'Mak Andam' in Happy Village. She used to tag me along with her when she represented many grooms-to-be families as a spokesperson in asking hands for the brides-to-be from their families. In fact, this art is still practiced among the Malay families in Malaysia, which was later followed by Majlis Bertunang or Getting Engaged when the Merisik event has been accepted, especially through the show of acceptance of the Tepak Sirih, which comprised of betel leaves, betel nuts and edible limestone. 

During my presentation, I also shared the processes of Majlis Menyarung Cincin both during Merisik and Bertunang time. In most cases, it is usually done by the mother or paternal grandmother of the to-be-groom. Once the ring has been successfully placed on the to-be-brinde's finger, she will show her acceptance, gratitude and respect to her future in laws by kissing their right hand. Hence, she is then officially known as the fiancé of so and so! 

Normally the engagement period varies from three to six months and sometimes one year before the Majils Akad Nikah or Solemnization actually take placed. This depends on the arrangement made by both sides of the families. They usually prefer the time for Solemnisation and Wedding Ceremonies during school holiday seasons where they truly need ample time to make invitation to guests and tedious preparation for the grand event. 

Indeed, wedding ceremonies within the Malay community are very important event to the brides and grooms since it is always hoped to be just once a life time experience. They are called the Raja Sehari or The King and Queen for a Day! More offen then not they are treated as 'true King and Queen' during their wedding day where all things are done to them by other people. It is indeed a life time experienced by all newly-wed couples who were beautifully dressed in their wedding attires and adorned with glittering Jewellery and also sat shyly on the well decorated dias and surrounded by families from both sides!

It is also here, the art of saying thank you to our guests who came to the wedding ceremonies applied. When the invitees were invited to give their blessings to the newly-wed couples on the dias, in return they will receive a bunga telor to be taken home. It is a gesture that symbolizes the heartfelt Thank You from the couple's families to their guests who took precious time off from their daily works just to attend the gathering and give their blessings at the wedding ceremonies. The bunga telor is actually a handmade flower usually made of gold or silver papers which then turned into a beautiful flower. On it will be a neatly covered hard boiled egg in a lace sack and carefully hang onto the flower! I was told by my late Nyai that a hard boiled egg symbolizes fertility, hence by giving our guests who attended the wedding ceremony as 'buah tangan'  it is hoped the newly-wed couple will be blessed and cherished with children. 

Together with the bunga telor, in most wedding ceremonies and at the Majlis Cukur Jambul occasions, a bag of Bunga Rampai is also handed to the guests before they left for home as a show of deepest and hearffelt appreciation for their presence.  Bunga Rampai is liken to aromatic potpourri which has beautiful fragrance. It comprises of sweet smelling finely sliced green pandan leaves and colourful mixtures of fragrance flowers such as red roses, white jasmines, yellow kenanga, dahlia and sprinkled with sweet scented perfumes or agar wood essence! 

On this wonderful and examplary gesture of Saying Thank You to the guests, I personally believe it is part of the beautiful Malay Culture to show respect and appreciation by giving someone who came to rejoice the happy occasions. What better way to show our gratitude to our guests who came to our functions than giving them a simple yet truly 'Ikhlas' from the heart as cute as Bunga Telor and as sweet fragrance as Bunga Rampai as the Buah Tangan. They made everyone happy - both the giver and the recipient! 

Hence, I did the same. Just before I end my short presentation, as a show of Thank You to be invited to share some Malay Culture and Experience to the fun loving and attentive audience, I too distributed some Bunga Telor and Bags of Bunga Rampai as remembrance. I truly thankful to the Organisers for the opportunity to share with the ISC Ladies Wing :D

A snap taken with ISC Ladies Wing and the wonderful Organisers Madam Bridget Ganguly and Madam Aditi Nadgauda.